High School Games...

I graduated in 1998.
I left school without looking back
Without a pause and with the certainty
That all the B.S. that I used to deal with
Was all behind me.


So why do I feel like 12 years later
I'm right fucking back there.
I'm sitting in Mr. Pangburn's 2nd Period
Social Studies Class and I'm hearing
The rumor's that were neatly
Told directly behind my back
If possible.


I'd just like to let you all know
I'M NOT FUCKING PLAYING
YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GAMES
Not anymore.
This he said, she said shit
Is really getting old.
How old are you???


I'm trying to line the pieces up.
Trying to make my life what I
Want it to be.
Not what you think it should be.


You seem to forget that I'm
No longer under your control.
Not that I ever was.
It's my turn now.
My turn to finally find who and what
I am.
To finally see...
Who I'm meant to be.


So I guess I'm trying to say...
I left high schoo behind 12 years.
And I refuse to look back.

Depressed

They say that I’m depressed. They say that inside of me
I’m wrong
I’m broken
I’m bruised
And they wonder why.


They put me in the spotlight
They say look at her
While they hide their knuckles
Behind their backs


Their words are double intended
While their lies
Drip sweetly
From their lips

Dear Momma

Hello there mom, can you hear me?
I’m already on my way…
I’m sorry daddy I know you don’t
Wanna hear the words I’ll say…

I’ve messed it up again…
Just didn’t work out some how…
So here I am and I’m on my way
I’m ready to lay it out

I guess I’m broken inside
Way deep down where it counts
And nothing I try ever takes the time
And I’m saying please just count me out…

I’m falling down
The rabbit hole
Going back to where you go
When you know you can’t go home.

I’ve burned it down
And now I’m choking on the ashes
Of a life that never made me proud
I guess it’s over…. Count me out.

So hey there mom… I love you so
I’m sorry this call came much too late
To save me from myself
To save me for myself

I’m falling down
The rabbit hole
Trying not to land face down
Going back to where you go
When you know you can’t go home…
When you know you can’t go home…